Let me tell you how this works

Fairly standard day begins - white coffee, no sugar.

'Can I have a pass?'

I look up from my console.

A smug face is looking back at me, craning his neck to see if he can somehow reach over the desk and open the drawer to get the visitor's security pass himself.

Never having seen him before, I ask: 'Are you a member of staff?'

He looks at me with a pitying smile. 'Yes, I've transferred from Southampton.'

'My apologies, I've been on leave so I'm just catching up. What's your name?'

'Joe Blow. How do I go about getting a pass so I don't have to sign one out? After all, I am based here.' He looks at the day pass in his hand with longing and I know I'll have to make sure he hands it in on his way out.

'The best thing to do is speak to your administrator and she can take care of it for you.'

'I'm not sure who that would be.'

'Which floor are you on?'

'First.'

'That would be Rachel. You'll need a photo taken...or if you have a photo that you're happy with in JPEG format we can use that.'

'Ok.'

The next day he comes in and hovers over the desk as clients are signing in, pacing back and forth in the background. As soon as they disperse the question comes:

'Is my photo pass ready?'

I look up at him with my best puzzled look, which I'm sure looks a bit sarcastic around the edges.

'I haven't received a photo. Did you speak to Rachel about sorting out your pass?' Visitor start to accumulate behind him, I motion for them to sign in and I continue speaking to Mr Blow.

'No, not yet.'

'Did you send me a photo yourself?'

'No.'

'Okay, if you just sign in the staff signing in book you'll have to take another day pass today.'

He looks at me with a hint of malice as he signs his name in the book and taps the pen in short sharp bursts as I select a pass from the drawer.

'You're number 12. Please enter the number in the book. Don't forget to speak to Rachel about your pass today. I can issue it as soon as I have that photo.' He slopes off, not a moment too soon.

Later:

The photo comes through via email and I print the pass. He collects it.The following morning he signs out another visitor pass because he has forgotten his shiny new one at home. All cretins, please report to reception immediately...